Monday, September 7, 2009

What I Want

I took a solo drive to the beach the other afternoon to enjoy the last bits of summer.  For companionship, I brought along Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  I don't usually re-read books, but this one seemed to be just what I need after my break up and with my up and coming move to Beijing.  I was reading the part where the author realized that for the first time in her life she was able to ask herself what she wanted, and not only able to ask herself that but listen.  So I tried it out. I ended up writing this list in the back of the book:

What I Want
I want to write
I want people to read what I write and like it
I want to be part of a spiritual group of people who share my beliefs and doubts
I want my life to be full of love
I want to travel
I want to be passionate about life
I want to teach and share my passion for reading and writing
I want to be a positive influence
I want positive people to be drawn to me
I want a partner who makes me want to be a better person
I want to experience everything!

The very last thing on my list was: I want to swim.  After this thought came to me I had a short conversation with myself that went something like this:

"What do you mean you want to swim? The water is cold- you never want to swim when the water is cold"
"I just want to swim"
"Well go swim then"
"But its cold"
"so?"
"Maybe I will"

And so I did.  And it was cold, but it was great.  And it was what I wanted.

No comments: